Catemaco Retreat Journal

David Bruce Hughes, 2008

Introduction

This is a true story: the real-life spiritual adventure of establishing our Esoteric Teaching rural retreat center in a tiny, remote Mexican village, accompanied by my disciples Florian and Conor. They will no doubt tell this story from their own points of view, and therefore I do not wish to speak for them, but only for myself. This pastime represents the fruition of a dream long in coming into reality from its origin in the confidential instructions received from my spiritual Master Teacher Srila Prabhupada in 1978, at the time of his leaving this world. 

Srila Prabhupada was disgusted with his so-called leading disciples, actually a gang of rogues who usurped control of his International Society for Krishna Consciousness (ISKCON) through devious political machinations, degrading it from a transcendental Vedic esoteric school into a mundane religious organization. Srila Prabhupada, through the mercy of his dear sister Pishima, warned me about the vicious plans of my Godbrothers, told me that I should leave ISKCON and continue my sadhana independently, and instructed me to carry on the Gaudiya Vaisnava tradition and restore it to its original Upanisadic form based on Vedanta philosophy as described in his books. He assured me that if I would carry out this instruction, he would bless me with all spiritual success. 

My personality and qualities are really not adequate or suited to the important task entrusted to me by my guru. Nevertheless I have done my best to implement Srila Prabhupada's teachings, both the public ones given in his amazing and wonderful books, and the confidential ones given to me personally. Our humble retreat center is the manifestation of the vision he imparted to me so long ago. To be an agent of its manifestation was a great privilege to me and, I hope, to the other devotees whose service and dedication made it possible. Therefore I kept a (more or less) daily journal to record my thoughts and experiences during this important time. 

Esoteric Teaching Catemaco Retreat Founding Devotees Babaji, Florian and Conor

Part 1

Tuesday, March 4

īśvaraḥ sarva-bhūtānāṁ
hṛd-deśe 'rjuna tiṣṭhati
bhrāmayan sarva-bhūtāni
yantrārūḍhāni māyayā

"The Supreme Lord is situated in everyone's heart, O Arjuna, and is directing the wanderings of all living entities, who are seated as on a machine, made of the material energy." [Bhagavad-gita 18.61]

We leave Mexico City a little after 5 AM after packing up everything the night before. We have a nice little kirtan and say our goodbyes. Uddhava is more emotional than I have ever seen him. He has developed real devotion to guru. I was feeling apprehensive about leaving but Krsna has been calling so strongly, I knew we had to go through with it. Traffic was not too bad, except for the beginning of MX 150—lots of big trucks driven very aggressively. It was a little tricky figuring out how to make the turn and get in the express lane. Once we got out of town it was smooth and we could easily maintain 100 km/hr. 

Getting out of Mexico City we had to go over a huge hill that seemed to go on forever. Then we were in high desert country, maybe 3000 m. high or more, east of Mexico City. Very cold and kind of forbidding country, tough and dry. Some agriculture but not very friendly looking people. Life seems hard and not too happy there.

After all the mechanical checks and rebuilding the power steering unit, El Burro ran perfectly, and we had a very comfortable drive. He is a good machine for a long trip. At the end of the high plains there was a very tricky steep downhill section with many curves, tunnels and lots of fog. Warm, wet air from the Gulf of Mexico hits the mountains there and condenses, and we were literally driving through the clouds. Down into the mist and rain we went. Then we gradually came out of the rain into Veracruz state, into much lower, warmer and greener country, with lots of farms and ranches. 

We exited MX 150 after many tolls. We spent about MX$500 in tolls and another MX$500 filling up on gas. (US$1.00 ≈ MX$11.00) Then we head east-southeast on MX 180 toward Catemaco. It's very windy and cool. We reach the beach and it is a mess! We find one camping place and it is closed, looks abandoned and falling apart. The beach is dirty and littered with plastic. So even though we are tired of driving we decide to press on to Catemaco. 

Setting up for a concert in downtown Catemaco

Coming into the Tuxtlas about 1 PM, traffic is slow. It's rural and there are lots of speed bumps, pedestrians, stores, animals etc. Very pretty country, volcanic hills with fragrant green foliage. We see lots of farms and rancheros. But Catemaco is a tourist trap! Pitchmen on motorbikes stake out the entrance to the town and accost us en route. Lots of sellers everywhere except the very center of town. We go through town and head out onto the road to the north shore of the lake. 

Lots of ecotourism places, but very commercial and pricy, complete with phony commercial shamans, maybe some real ones too. We are just looking for a place to spend the night, but we want a camp not a motel. We see lots of signs for a place called Prashanti. It sounds good, so we follow the signs beyond the end of the paved road. Now El Burro is in his element: mud. It turns out Prashanti is closed for renovation for the season coming in a few weeks, and there's no camping there anyway. We press on to the south shore of the lake.

South Shore of Lake Catemaco

At the very end of the bumpy dirt lakeshore road is a small village, Las Margaritas. We see signs about an ecotourism place, so we go there and inquire. The first guy we meet is about my age, very friendly, seems genuinely happy to see us. It turns out he is El Patron, kind of informal Mayor of the town, certainly a leading citizen, named Reyes. He guides us to the camping place, which has simple rooms, a nice composting toilet, showers, even a kitchen. The weather is windy and cool, but no rain. The lake water is warm, very clean and refreshing. We arrange for three days' accommodation, set up our camp on the lakeshore, go swimming, cook and eat dinner, and fall blissfully asleep.

Wednesday, March 5

aho bata śvapaco'to garīyān
yaj-jihvāgre vartate nāma tubhyam
tepus tapas te juhuvuḥ sasnur āryā
brahmānūcur nāma gṛṇanti ye te.

"O my Lord, a person who is chanting Your Holy Name, although born of a low family like that of a candala [dog eater], is situated on the highest platform of self-realization. Such a person must have performed all kinds of penances and sacrifices according to Vedic rituals and studied the Vedic literatures many, many times after taking his bath in all the holy places of pilgrimage. Such a person is considered to be the best of the Āryan family." [Srimad-Bhagavatam 3.33.7]

Up a little before sunrise, we bathe in the lake. The water is warmer than the air. It must be the end of winter weather here. I take a short video but later, even with compression, it turns out to be too big to upload to YouTube from the local Internet place. After breakfast, Reyes shows us around the village. We find out the local stores and see the school, which is surprisingly neat and clean. Las Margaritas is very small, all dirt roads, very peaceful and clean. There are a few cars, a few more trucks, but everyone walks or bikes within the village. There are animals and gardens everywhere: the ubiquitous chickens, but also turkeys, geese, lambs and about a zillion waterfowl making raucous cries. I will have to record them someday soon; they are a riot of natural sounds at dawn. 

We ask about long-term camping arrangements. Reyes lights up; he owns a piece of land right on the lake, about .5 km. from the village. We take a look, and it is beautiful. Scrubby but right on the lakefront, with lots of wildflowers. Its aroma is like an orchid shop, heady and fragrant like incense. Best of all, near the campsite on a creek on his land are two waterfalls, one about 4 m. and the other nearly 10 m. high. The larger one has a little pool that is perfect for bathing on a hot day, of which there will be plenty later on in the summer.

We haggle about price, a process that takes most of the rest of the day, including an evening long-distance call to Uddhava in Mexico City to confirm the price and all the arrangements. Of course there is nothing written; all business here is done on trust and a handshake. It is a little dicey, considering the complexity of the negotiations and how little we really understand the local dialect of Spanish. We agree for four months at MX$1000 per month. He wants most of the money up front to finance the materials for a nice latrine, so we don't mess up the environment. We think his aim is to develop his property and rent it out to ecotourists later on—at a higher price of course. Finally after much haggling and negotiation we settle the deal, make a down payment and retire to the village campsite again.

Thursday, March 6

pavanaḥ pavatām asmi
rāmaḥ śastra-bhṛtām aham
jhaṣāṇāṁ makaraś cāsmi
srotasām asmi jāhnavī

"Of purifiers I am the wind; of the wielders of weapons I am Rāma; of fishes I am the shark, and of flowing rivers I am the Ganges." [Bhagavad-gita 10.37]

A big party of business people is coming to stay at the village. A gaggle of cacophony like a flock of chickens on steroids greets our ears as the village women descend predawn to prepare breakfast for the party. This is not our idea of a spiritual retreat, so we pack up early, get out of there and move to Reyes' land. We go into town with Reyes, finish our business and send a few emails. Now we have to set up camp, which takes most of the rest of the day. Camp life is peaceful once you're established, but setting up is a big passionate business, always racing against the onset of darkness. 

Lake Camp with Florian and El Burro

As sunset approaches the wind comes up again, something we had not prepared for. Right on the lakeshore we have no shelter; the wind is right off the lake into our teeth out of the north-northeast. Our tents are being battered; if it rains we will get soaked. We set up a big tarp for an outdoor kitchen, but the wind breaks its tie points as soon as we get it flown. Night falls and we have no choice but to tough it out in our poorly pitched tents. Luckily it does not rain. 

Friday, March 7

gata-saṅgasya muktasya
jñānāvasthita-cetasaḥ
yajñāyācarataḥ karma
samagraṁ pravilīyate

"The work of a man who is unattached to the modes of material nature and who is fully situated in transcendental knowledge merges entirely into transcendence." [Bhagavad-gita 4.23]

The lake is beautiful even in a stormy mood.

The day breaks cold and windy. There is no rain, thank God; but the spray from the choppy waves the wind raises on the lake makes us wear our windbreakers. The wind is too much; it forces us to pull back our camp from the short grass near the beach and take shelter under the trees 20 m. up the bank. We need the trees to rig our tents to withstand the gale-force wind that is threatening to rip them apart. But first we have to clear the ground of the thick vegetation, which is strong enough to pierce the floor of a tent with its shoots. So I put a sharp edge on our machete and hatchet with a file, and we set to work. Once the ground is cleared and smoothed with the shovel, we set up our tents and stake them really well. The cheap aluminum stakes that come with the tents are almost useless; they pull out after a few minutes of gusty wind. I carve a bunch of good strong stakes out of a piece of hard driftwood I find near the beach, splitting it with the axe and tapering each piece with a sharp knife. 

We can see from the waterline that storms drive the waves at least a meter above the calm-weather waterline. This storm is making 50-cm. waves, so it's pretty strong but hardly the worst weather this place sees on a regular basis. That's the price of camping near a large body of water; the weather is changeable and sometimes violent; but when it's nice, it is very very nice.

Anyway, we have to hurry because the work is time-consuming and we can see the rain moving toward us across the lake. At least the weather changes here give us plenty of advance warning. Chopping the roots and pulling them out is hard work. The wind whips up spray and blows it sideways, covering everything with a fine mist. At least it's fresh water; salt spray is very corrosive. But luckily no rain yet. Finally we get the ground cleared and pitch the tents. Ever try to pitch a tent in a raging gale? It's kind of like sailboarding, but on land. It takes both of us and all our strength to maneuver each ground tarp and tent into position without everything getting blown away. 

The tents need trees upwind of them to lash their poles to, so they will be braced against the wind. A tent is a tension structure; the more tension, the more strength it has. So we pitch the tent, stretching the floor to the max and staking it down firmly with our new improved stakes. Then we put the rain-fly on, lashing it with extra string to keep the wind from pulling it off. We run a rope from each pole to a nearby tree, then put a small tarp as a second rain fly over the windward side of the tent. We tension the rope to make the tent stronger in the direction of the wind. Then we stake the second fly to the ground and rope its corners to trees on the downwind side. The only tarps we could find in Mexico City were cheap and flimsy, so we have to put a rock in the corner and tie it off to spread the load, because the regular tie points would pull out as soon as the wind gets ahold of them. 

Tents braced for wind

By dark everything is finally set up, and we take shelter from the brooding storm in our newly reinforced tents. I had planned to do this work over 2-3 days at leisure, but the weather forced us to do it all in one day. Somehow I get dinner cooked, we eat a hearty meal and collapse with exhaustion. Then the rain comes, but we're too tired to even hear it.

Saturday, March 8

"There is no prohibition against meeting the proper needs of the senses, but unnecessary sense enjoyment is detrimental for spiritual advancement. Therefore the senses should be restrained from unnecessary use. Similarly, the mind should not indulge in unnecessary thoughts; that is called samah, or calmness. Nor should one spend one's time pondering over earning money. That is a misuse of the thinking power. The mind should be used to understand the prime necessity of human beings, and that should be presented authoritatively. The power of thought should be developed in association with persons who are authorities in the scriptures, saintly persons and spiritual masters and those whose thinking is highly developed." [Bhagavad-gita 10.4-5 Purport]

It rains heavily during the night, and we awake to a cold, wet world. Fortunately the wind has stopped, but it is still cool. Florian had diarrhea during the night, I think from stress and overwork, and feels weak. I have to go to town with Reyes to pick up material for the latrine. But when we try to start El Burro, the battery is dead. We try cleaning the terminals, but it doesn't help. Fortunately Reyes knows everybody, and when a neighbor passes in his truck, Reyes gets him to give us a jump. Neither of us has jumper cables, but no problema; the guy removes the battery from his truck, connects it to ours, starts the engine and then puts the cables back on our battery. "Muy inteligente," I remark in my terrible Spanish, making everyone laugh. So we pack up and head off to town, and a kilometer down the road, we find the same guy helping another vehicle with the same problem in exactly the same way. We pass them and wave, and everybody gets a good laugh in the process. 

The people in the Catemaco area, and especially in the country around Las Margaritas are gentle, good-natured folks. Unlike the people in Mexico City, they make eye contact when speaking or passing, and seem genuinely interested in our mission and activities. When I describe in my halting, imperfect Spanish that we are monks, that we have an international school of spiritual life, simple living and high thinking (vida simplistico y filosofica alta), and we respect the essence of all religions, they smile and nod in approval. They are mostly devotees of the Virgin Mary. The Catholic church in Catemaco has a large, beautiful lifelike statue of the Virgin that I can only describe as a Deity. People come to see her from all around; the church is a famous place of religious pilgrimage. The pilgrims worship her with flowers (readily available from local stalls and sellers), then cleanse their subtle bodies with them, in the manner of smudging. Many miracles are attributed to this practice, which certainly seems descended from both local shamanic practices and Vedic culture. 

Reyes and I go into San Andreas Tuxtlas where there is a large variety store operated by guess who: Wal-Mart! It is just like Wal-Marts everywhere. I wouldn't be surprised to find a Wal-Mart in Antarctica! I am nearly overwhelmed by the passionate energy of commercialism after just a few days in the woods. We pick up a new battery for El Burro and other miscellaneous supplies. On the way back, Reyes finds a place that sells heavy-duty tarps—so robust they come with a one-year written guarantee—and we pick up a 3 x 4-meter silver tarp for a sunshade or whatever. I have already decided that the kitchen and temple need to be in a tent because of the regular windstorms, but not to worry, we will find a use for it. 

We come back to camp and I change the battery and charge it. Now we have an extra battery, but I'm not sure how useful it will be. Maybe I can use it to keep the computers and other devices charged. I suspect that the reason the old battery wore out is that El Burro turns on the interior lights and other electrical gear whenever you open a door. The constant dampness from the make may also have something to do with it; or it may just have been a weak battery. Anyway, from now on I will keep the positive terminal disconnected whenever he is not in use, so the battery will not discharge when we open the doors to get stuff out of the truck. 

The day ends peacefully, crisis past, the rain slowing and finally stopping as night falls. The air smells incredible, like lilacs and lilies, jasmine and a hint of wood smoke. It is ecstatic, a sensuous delight just to breathe, so unlike Mexico City where we have been working for more than a year. We have (quite literally) weathered our first major test. Life is good, and we are very happy to be here.

Part 2

Sunday, March 9

yuktāhāra-vihārasya
yukta-ceṣṭasya karmasu
yukta-svapnāvabodhasya
yogo bhavati duḥkha-hā

"He who is temperate in his habits of eating, sleeping, working and recreation can mitigate all material pains by practicing the yoga system." [Bhagavad-gita 6.17]

The weather is cool and clear at dawn, and the wind is calm. I am eating only fruit today. Yesterday at Wal-Mart I bought us inflatable mattresses, and they are very comfy. Lion is very happy to be in the jungle, He's feeling frisky. We goof around and sleep late, recovering from the intense efforts of the previous days, and it's a relief not to have to go anywhere or set anything up. Florian is feeling better and stronger after taking some ampicillin and resting. I figure I can use the extra battery to charge the computers and other devices. After I get done transcribing and editing this Journal I will test it, and see if it holds enough charge to do the job. 

I am trying to decide on the final format for this Journal, and am playing with the idea of publishing it as a podcast. It would be cool to have the text with pictures and a spoken version. But we do not get the pictures until Florian finds the USB cable for his camera. I have a similar cable for a USB hub but have not yet tried it with his camera. When you're camping, stuff can get lost in the bottom of a pack and you can forget you even have it—until you need it, of course, and that realization sparks a furious search. Naturally whatever it is you're looking for has gravitated, by some mysterious Law of the Universe, to the most obscure, forgotten corner of your tent, and only a thorough, determined search will uncover it. Often overheard at these moments: "I know it's here someplace; I'm sure I packed it somewhere!" 

Now it's noon and the breeze has picked up and a few clouds have moved in. It's still very pleasant. I can see that same breeze that gave us so much grief at first will turn out to be a welcome relief when it gets hot. Florian is feeling so much better he goes to the waterfalls to swim. I wash our clothes in scentless detergent and bleach; they come out surprisingly clean, and I hang them in the sun to dry. Reyes and our neighbor, an eccentric guy who lives in a tiny shack in the woods, show up to help us clear weeds from the bank of the creek. Reyes says, incredibly, that he wants to clear the jungle from the whole piece of land, all the way back to the road. He produces a huge machete made in Columbia. Its long, thin blade sings as he expertly wields it forehand and backhand with either hand. In very little time he has chopped down half an acre. 

The extra car battery easily charges my laptop and Florian's MP3 player through the inverter. Later I will recharge it from El Burro's alternator. Tomorrow or Tuesday when we go to town I will get some cables so we can recharge it without having to remove the main battery. That also means we do not need access to anyone's electricity to recharge our devices. We want to be as independent as possible to keep things simple.

East Shore of Lake Catemaco

There is so much prana here, so much life. You can feel it in the wind, in the ground, in the water. I am feeling extremely vigorous. When I chant, I can effortlessly belt out the mantra loud enough to be heard over the constant sounds of the wind, birds, crickets and waves. I am growing to really love this place, and can already feel that it will be hard to leave when it is time to renew my visa.

Monday, March 10

"A pure devotee of the Lord automatically develops all godly qualities, and some of the prominent features of those qualities are as follows: he is kind, peaceful, truthful, equable, faultless, magnanimous, mild, clean, nonpossessive, a well-wisher to all, satisfied, surrendered to Kṛṣṇa, without hankering, simple, fixed, self-controlled, a balanced eater, sane, mannerly, prideless, grave, sympathetic, friendly, poetic, expert and silent." [Srimad-Bhagavatam 2.3.13 Purport]

Cool, partly cloudy. It's a go-to-town day. We pick up Reyes and his good wife (whose name I either do not get or cannot remember) and head in to Catemaco. First a stop at the local general market for milk, yogurt, soap, brushes and miscellany. Then we head to San Andreas Tuxtlas for some serious shopping at Wal-Mart. We pick up battery cables, antibacterial soap for the latrine, some tools and a load of vegetables. Reyes persuades me to lend him MX$350 for a power disc cutter, promising to repay me in 8 days when he gets paid. From whom I can't guess, since he doesn't seem to work for anyone except himself. 

It's sunny and hot in Catemaco and Tuxtlas, but back in Las Margaritas it is cool and foggy, as if the day never quite got off the ground. Reyes explains that when it gets hot, the breeze is very pleasant. Right now it is rather raw. We checked the weather forecast at the Internet place, and it tells us that two days of rain is coming. Sure enough, by nightfall the sky is dark and lowering. 

Tuesday, March 11

ahiṁsā samatā tuṣṭis
tapo dānaṁ yaśo 'yaśaḥ
bhavanti bhāvā bhūtānāṁ
matta eva pṛthag-vidhāḥ

"Intelligence, knowledge, freedom from doubt and delusion, forgiveness, truthfulness, self-control and calmness, pleasure and pain, birth, death, fear, fearlessness, nonviolence, equanimity, satisfaction, austerity, charity, fame and infamy are created by Me alone." [Bhagavad-gita 10.4-5]

I wake up at 3 AM; it is very silent and still, no wind and warm. Hard to describe the mood. Sort of sweet and seductive. I go out and walk around naked in the dark, chanting softly. The lake is silver in the half-light. After a while I surrender to its call and wade in. The water is perfectly calm and still. I love the feeling of it on my skin, cool and soft. A vision of purity and perfection in this material world. God has made so much beauty; we are so stupid to trade it for Wal-Marts and freeways. Once it is destroyed it is very difficult, if not impossible to bring it back. I dry off and go back to bed, cuddling with a warm Lion.

7 AM: Rain. Rain, rain, rain. Rain rain rain rain rain... Well, you get the picture. Tropical rain, heavy at times, alternating with cool breezes. Anywhere I touch the inside of the tent, it leaks; I have to add another tarp to keep the rain off the vulnerable spots. It's ugly but effective. 100% humidity; the tropical downpour coats everything with condensation. Fortunately it's a warm rain. Hey, it's only water. After a while I surrender, get into my swimsuit and go for a dip. 

I am writing this Journal by hand (at least the first draft) in a fancy journal book that Florian gave me for my birthday. Writing by hand is a very different experience than writing by computer. I think it is very appropriate to the mood of our retreat here. You get more time to think over each word, and more incentive to choose them wisely. Edits are ugly, so you try harder to avoid the crossed-out words and black Xs. I wrote the first draft of my first book, Here Be Wisdom, by hand. It was a great exercise in finding my authentic personal voice. 

Today we will have truly international cuisine: pasta with salsa and tortillas! Florian stood out by the road in the pouring rain and stopped the guy who delivers tortillas to the local store on a motor scooter. He got the special gringo road price: MX$5 for a half-kilo rather than MX$8 at the local tienda. The local hermit comes by just in time for lunch. What a coincidence! Naturally we invite him and he enthusiastically accepts. Little does he know that he is getting bhagavat-prasadam, spiritual food offered to God. 

So we chow down on spiral whole-wheat pasta cooked in rainwater, hot fresh-cooked tomato salsa and tortillas. The mix is quite tasty, if I do say so myself. The hermit speaks some arcane local dialect of Spanish we can barely understand, and sometimes not at all. Many of the words he uses are not in our little Spanish dictionary. Maybe they are from some obscure Indian dialect. Anyway most of the meal passes in silence, the hermit sitting on a log, out in the rain, uncomplaining while Florian and I feast in the tent. 

The rest of the day passes slowly. I amuse myself by writing poetry. Maybe someday I will set it to music. 

Youth and beauty, fortune, fame, 
Nothing long will stay the same.
Sickness, death, a poet's rhyme, 
Material qualities dance in time.

Alternation, time vibration,
Round and round in oscillation.
Adumbration of transformation, 
Attributions in peregrination.

Up and down, a global sound,
A wave that spans the whole world 'round.
Complex, shapable, inescapable,
Time and change are this world's ground.

Now let's put awareness toward
Our everlasting, perfect Lord.
His Gita is the perfect Word
A sharp discriminating Sword.

The Absolute is constant, true,
Known only by a selected few.
He is exalted, effulgent, great,
But doesn't change, nor oscillate.

January, February;
This world is but temporary.
We cannot stop the march of Time
But we can get out of its line.

Hare Krsna Hare Krsna,
Krsna Krsna Hare Hare;
Hare Rama Hare Rama,
Rama Rama Hare Hare.

Wednesday, March 12

śamo damas tapaḥ śaucaṁ
kṣāntir ārjavam eva ca
jñānaṁ vijñānam āstikyaṁ
brahma-karma svabhāva-jam

"Peacefulness, self-control, austerity, purity, tolerance, honesty, wisdom, knowledge, and religiousness—these are the qualities by which the brāhmanas work." [Bhagavad-gita 18.42]

It is raining again today, not so intense as yesterday but slow and steady. At dawn I went for a long swim; it felt great. Afterward I felt terrific, better than I have in years, and just laid in my tent in the cool morning air, feeling magnificently alive. The native shamans recognized Lake Catemaco as a special place, full of healing energy, and they were right. Already the sore knee I had for months from going up and down the steep stairs in Mexico City is gone. But people in general misuse God's gift of the healing energy, just putting it into material purposes. What is the value of getting healed and then perfoming sinful activities? So they miss the most valuable opportunity of human life: to realize God.

I have also started doing yoga stretches and lower-back exercises again. For a long time—over a year—I have been spending most of my time sitting in a comfortable office chair. This left my lower back weak and easily misaligned. Now that I am spending hours a day sitting on the floor with my legs crossed, I can feel it in my hips and lower back. As soon as I started doing the exercises, my lower back became mobile and I was able to realign it. Now I feel much better. 

We are meant to live a simple, natural life. Artificial city life leaves the body weak, and then we compensate by taking even more material leisure. So the body wears out more quickly than if we lead a life of moderate physical activity. I have been physically craving swimming for months now. Now that I can swim as much as I like, the craving is still there but at least I can do something about it. Gradually I am increasing the time I spend in the water every day; by the time the weather gets hot, I will be swimming a lot. 

Florian and I are having some good conversations. He is starting to grasp the scope of the Vaisnava philosophy and teachings, and it is blowing his mind. We stayed up kind of late last night (9 PM) talking about all kinds of things. His background as a political strategist is going to be very useful for spreading this way of life. I think he will become a good brahmana and spiritual teacher someday; but first he has to attain self-realization. 

Florian is still a really new devotee. Nevertheless he is making astonishingly quick progress. I am convinced that the rate of spiritual advancement is directly related to the quality of ontological conception of spiritual life that one develops. Florian is chanting with a fluidity and ease typical of a 2-3 year ISKCON devotee; but he has only been chanting a few months. I observed similar progress in Uddhava, who has only been a devotee for about two years, but understands more about the advanced concepts of the philosophy, such as rasa-tattva, than many 20-year ISKCON devotees. This experience confirms my theory that one should learn vaidhi-bhakti and raganuga-bhakti side-by-side from the very beginning of spiritual life. 

The rain is stopping and there are breaks in the clouds. Looks like we will get a change in the weather soon now, certainly by tomorrow. I have taken my rain fly down and put all the wet stuff out in the sun and wind to dry. Florian just took a walk up the hill behind the waterfalls. He tells me he saw cows and some small houses up there, probably of caballeros. Next project: drive a bamboo stick into the lake bottom so we can tie our sandals to it when we go swimming. The shore is full of sharp volcanic rocks, so we have to wear shoes going in and out. Once we can lash them to something, we can be free to swim around without worrying about our shoes.

Thursday, March 13

Ah, blessed sunshine! Reyes told us that the bad weather of the past week was the final storm of the winter season. We can expect fair, hot weather from now until mid-September, which is just perfect for us. 

Today I got up before dawn, took bath in the lake, chanted my Gayatri mantras and a bunch of rounds in the early-morning sun, did my laundry, set out a bunch of things from my tent in the sun to dry, and took a long, vigorous swim. I just ate fruit all day, but now it's late afternoon and we are getting ready to sit down to an opulent feast: spicy guacamole with tomatoes and cilantro leaves, spiral pasta with salsa made from lentils, tomatoes, cilantro stems and cabbage with lots of butter and spices, and corn flour tortillas. Yes, and it's just as good as it sounds. This is the life!

Last night we talked about the educational system and how it ruins actual intelligence by taking the responsibility for getting an education out of the hands of the family and the individual. Instead of learning how to learn and apply any subject of interest, kids are fed other people's opinions and conditioned to regurgitate them on demand. Thus they come to confuse having opinions with actual education: learning how to learn and think for oneself.

The water here is exceptionally pure and full of energy. Lake Catemaco rests in the bowl of a (hopefully) extinct volcano; so there is lots of geothermal energy in the water. The only examples of similar lakes I know of in the US are in cold areas like Crater Lake in Oregon. But Catemaco's subtropical climate makes it accessible almost all year round. The waterfall here is really highly charged with prana. I want to bottle it, distribute it to our students, friends and donors. We are already using the waterfalls for drinking and cooking, and just use the creek water for washing and the lake water for bathing. And we are both feeling very healthy, relaxed and energized. Places do have attributes and affect us just like our human association. So just as we should associate with devotees for spiritual strength, for physical health we should reside at a pure place like Catemaco. This is a Vedic principle; a brahmana or devotee should live by a lake, river, stream or near the ocean, or anywhere there is a nicely-worshiped Deity of Lord Visnu. 

Today we went up to the big waterfall and made a video of me collecting water from the cascade. Water just doesn't get any fresher or cleaner! Then we treat the water with mantras and offer it to Krsna. When our Deities get here then we will offer it to Them. The result is very potent healing prasadam. Unfortunately we have to burn the video to a CD and snail-mail it to Uddhava to upload, because the Internet places here have such low bandwidth. When we get the product all designed, it will be called Las Margaritas Healing Spring Water.

I have an inspiration to start a holistic health institute here combining Ayurveda, Yoga, Vedic Astrology, and our spiritual teachings of devotional service. We could open as soon as September. People will come from all over the world for healing. The presence of foreigners also will make it famous and attractive to the locals.

Part 3

Friday, March 14

We went to town today, picking up supplies and running errands, and it pretty much took up the whole day. Icky, but what can you do? At least it was nice and sunny and hot. I mailed the videos to Uddhava, checked email and left posts on the site Forum, and we had a chance to pick Reyes' brain as we rode in and out with him. For example, we found out that there are few poisonous snakes in and around Lake Catemaco because it is volcanic, and snakes do not like the sharp volcanic rocks here. Just like in Hawaii, they cannot live here. 

We also discussed many other things. Reyes is a big landowner around here, responsible for hundreds if not thousands of hectares. He also has a house for rent for only MX$500 per month including utilities, which is like the best deal in the universe. It's not much to look at, in fact it's fairly primitive, but could be made comfortable for 2-4 men. We are already thinking ahead to September, when we will need a place to live and work, and it will be raining, so we will need a house of some kind. Catemaco may be better to start our classes, but we still will need a place to stay, and Las Margaritas is ideal for any kind of sadhus or spiritual work, plus the local people really like us. 

My public spiritual teaching so far has been based on the Second Chapter of Bhagavad-gita and its implications. Thus our work for the past few years has been primarily a philosophical, ontological and theological analysis of the soul and consciousness, and the essence of the distinction between material and transcendental existence (sankhya-yoga). Now we are moving into studying the Third Chapter so karma-yoga is going to be the theme for some time. Thus we are attempting to show the practical applications of the teachings on the nature of the soul in spiritual life.

This means that there has to be some practical work that illustrates the spiritual principles we follow: primarily purity, God consciousness and spiritual service. Holistic health is an appropriate vehicle for expressing our Vaisnava principles, because at its root it is about living in harmony with God and His natural laws. So a Vedic health institute is a great way to reach out into society and also support our mission. Today Florian and I agreed to a division of labor: he will focus on structure and organization, and I will concentrate on content. I will create the website and he will translate it into European languages.

Saturday, March 15

Another beautiful day. Yes!

I woke up early, all inspired to begin crafting the program for our holistic health institute. Krsna gave me the entire platform for the institute, which I recorded in an essay entitled Ayurvedic Holistic Health. I find that I can think better in complete silence. Even natural sounds are disturbing, therefore when I write I put earplugs in my ears. They help me think and concentrate better. 

What is really wonderful is how Krsna gives me complete thoughts, even musical compositions and essays in response to my desire to preach His glories. If I go to bed with an idea for a piece, very often I will awake with it in my mind, fully formed and ready to record. I do not take any credit for this; I know full well it is the Lord, revealing a little of His intelligence in my mind in response to my desire to serve Him in some small way. It does point out the value of learning how to duplicate, so we can record these valuable inspirations without any distortion. When I was studying musical composition, we studied Solfége, which is a type of ear training that enables one to duplicate and record any sound vibration. Now I see this musical training as a very valuable asset, because it helps me to duplicate and record the inspirations coming from the Lord.

Florian and I had a talk, several hours long, about the philosophy of Ayurveda and how it is a natural extension or application of our standard Vedic philosophy to health. Basically, the human spirit and body are God's energy, so if we just stop doing the things that make us sick, we get well. As long as the body and mind have not been too badly damaged, the life force (prana) itself will do the healing. Vedanta-sutra affirms that prana is another name for Visnu. Therefore Visnu, as prana, is the original physician. By performing sinful activities we break His laws and invite suffering. By following His spiritual laws and stopping nonsense activities, we accept His healing process. 

Sunday, March 16

Wow, things are moving fast. Reyes showed up early this morning to finalize the deal on the house. Uddhava wants to rent it right away to serve as a platform for organizing our holistic health programs and for storing our stuff when we are out of Mexico. He is already thinking in terms of moving out of his house in Mexico City and joining us in September or October. So he wants to come next week with a load of stuff, mostly office equipment, and send a moving van with our furniture soon after. The owners will clean up the property this afternoon, and we can start using the house tonight. I don't plan to live there, but to use it as an office while we continue to stay in our tents at the retreat location, on the lakeshore just 500 meters away. 

Krsna has a way of getting everything ready over a long period, then suddenly manifesting something very impressive. So all of a sudden we have a simple little house in an obscure rural village that just happens to be in one of the most ecologically desirable places in the world. That's Krsna's style; He always protects His pure devotees and gives them unlimited opportunities to engage in His service according to their desire. That way we never forget Him, and also provide relief to the living entities suffering in the iron grip of Kali-yuga. 

Florian is preparing a list of questions we need to answer to present a seminar series here: what tourist organizations are here, what are the statistics and demographics of the tourists, where and how long do they stay, where can we book a room for the presentation, how much should we charge, who can help us distribute flyers, etc. We will ask several people these questions to see what kind of perspective we get. I want to organize something within two weeks. Of course, as usual our biggest job will be to disabuse students of whatever nonsense they have already heard about Ayurveda and Yoga. 

The weather has held steady, and now it's nice and hot and sunny. The sky is flawlessly clear today. The place itself is so healing and inspiring that our holistic health institute is a guaranteed success. All we have to do is somehow or other get people to come here, and they will get healed. Now that we have a house for our office, the new website and program will come together very quickly. How fortunate we are, to be serving the Supreme Lord in this beautiful place! Everyone in our Esoteric Teaching community is invited to come here to study holistic health and Ayurveda in a traditional Vedic context.

Beautiful panorama of the country just northeast of Las Margaritas. Click picture to download full-size original.

Monday, March 17

Another perfectly beautiful day! I could get used to this. This morning I got up early and recharged my laptop at our new house. It is located about 500 meters down the road that goes past our camp, just up and over a little hill and next to the cowshed where the cows are milked every morning. We are compiling a list of things that need to be fixed, materials and tools we will need, and figuring out where everything will go. Uddhava is planning to come own from Mexico City and visit on Thursday. He will bring as much stuff as he can cram into his little VW, then later send a truck with our furniture and the rest of our stuff. Then he will be camping out in his house in DF until he can join us.

I am already planning the website for the Ayurveda Institute. I think it will be called simply Catemaco Ayurveda Institute, or Instituto Ayurveda de Catemaco in Spanish. We will offer healing water from Las Margaritas Spring through Internet stores on Amazon, Yahoo and eBay. We also will plant a lot of Tulasi, and offer the leaves and extracts as products. Tulasi is increasing in reputation and popularity as a medicinal herb. As devotees, we should be in the forefront of providing Tulasi and educating people in her proper use. We will have plots of Tulasi down at the campsite near the lake, an also at the house.

I am also looking forward to working on music, both for healing and just for fun. Uddhava has discovered sampling software that will enable us to program music in the Vedic harmonic scales, so we can finally do complex orchestral arrangements using the actual Vedic harmonic system. I have been waiting many years for this facility! Now I can implement the music that I can hear in my head, but have been unable to realize until now because of the limitations of the available tools. 

Tuesday, March 18

Windy again! At least it is out of the south, not right in our face from the north like the first few days here. The wind gusted all night long, and this morning anything movable was not where we left it the night before. And we are comparatively in the wind shadow of the hills; out on the lake it's so choppy, no fishermen are out this morning. Today we'll check the forecast; there could be a storm brewing.

Yesterday Reyes came and constructed a more permanent latrine for our camp. With only a shovel, machete and axe, some local materials and some rope, in an hour or two he put together a robust structure that will meet our needs for the rest of the season. It may look funky in the pictures, but it is actually very neat, clean and strong.

Uddhava wrote me that some of our readers do not consider what we are doing to be 'real.' Well let me tell you, it's not only real, it's sustainable and the way we will be living from now on. For example, yesterday over lunch we got into a conversation with Reyes about herbs and herbal healing. It turns out his sister is a curandera who has been studying the local herbal wisdom from childhood. So over the course of an hour, we put together a business deal that is basically a technology exchange; we will supply a cold extraction press and Internet marketing expertise, and they will supply the manufacturing labor and herbology expertise. We will sell extracts of locally grown herbs and the knowledge of how to use them and share the profits. There will also be some cooperative agriculture involved. We will negotiate more details when Uddhava is here this weekend.

This rural community is open to our students who want a retreat from the illusion of Western materialism. You just have to make the arrangements through Uddhava or myself, and you can spend some quality time in our rural spiritual eco-community for a very affordable donation. You will get a chance to live in a beautiful and pure place, access to healing water, herbs and techniques, spiritual instruction and support, and the personal association of elevated souls. Soon we will be getting satellite Internet and will be back in regular touch, including weekly video classes and Satsangs. Come down to Mexico and get involved! Conor will be here at the end of March, and Solus is coming sometime too. Now that we're established, we can host up to ten guests simultaneously, beginning any time.

Part 4

Wednesday, March 19

We went to town today, picking up supplies for our new house/office and posting stuff on the Internet. We went to an amazing hardware store in San Andreas Tuxtlas that crams a whole Home Depot into a space the size of a small apartment or townhouse. Mostly we got electrical parts for outfitting the house as an office, adding outlets and fixing the lights. The whole thing set us back only about US$70, which is pretty cheap considering the amount of stuff we got: four ceiling light fixtures and boxes, outlet boxes and fittings, wire and hardware, a new door latch, extra fuses, high-efficiency light bulbs, electrical tools, etc. 

The weather is cooler and breezy today, and I think a front is moving in. The forecast says it will be cloudy today and clearing over the weekend, but next week there will be several days of heavy rain. I think after fixing up the house a little, we will move in, at least during the bad weather. Camping in the rain is a drag, if only because we have to spend so much time in the tents when it rains. Plus the tents can get mildew if not properly dried out after the storm.

I am going through a heavy Saturn transit, the second of a series of three oppositions of transiting Saturn to my natal Sun. My Sun is in the 12th house, so it is a bit weak anyway, and Saturn just adds a big load of resistance to my health and work energy. But at least it makes me want to write. The last time I had this transit back in November, I did the whole Vedic Astrology and BPHS course in two weeks. So for the next two weeks or so, I will just spend a lot of time sitting in the house, working on the new Catemaco Ayurvedic Institute website. Of course I will give the Esoteric Teaching students a sneak preview before the site launches. I want to get your blessings, and also your comments. 

Later in the day the wind quieted down, and the evening is nice and peaceful. We moved the kitchen from the lakeside retreat camp to the new house in anticipation of Uddhava's visit tomorrow. I cooked up a delicious pasta dish with a lentil-tomato sauce. We ate it with tortillas that we bought fresh and hot from a store in Catemaco. The same place delivers to Las Margaritas every morning. Florian stands out on the road and meets the driver, and buys a stack of fresh-made tortillas for our cooking that day. 

For Marjan:

ahaṁ sarvasya prabhavo
mattaḥ sarvaṁ pravartate
iti matvā bhajante māṁ
budhā bhāva-samanvitāḥ

"I am the source of all spiritual and material worlds. Everything emanates from Me. The wise who know this perfectly engage in My devotional service and worship Me with all their hearts." [Bhagavad-gita 10.8]

PURPORT

A learned scholar who has studied the Vedas perfectly and has information from authorities like Lord Caitanya and who knows how to apply these teachings can understand that Kṛṣṇa is the origin of everything in both the material and spiritual worlds, and because he knows this perfectly he becomes firmly fixed in the devotional service of the Supreme Lord. He can never be deviated by any amount of nonsensical commentaries or by fools. All Vedic literature agrees that Kṛṣṇa is the source of Brahmā, Śiva and all other demigods. In the Atharva-veda it is said, yo brahmāṇaṁ vidadhāti: pūrvaṁ yo vai vedāṁś ca gāpayati sma kṛṣṇaḥ: "It was Kṛṣṇa who in the beginning instructed Brahmā in Vedic knowledge and who disseminated Vedic knowledge in the past." Then again it is said, atha puruṣo ha vai nārāyaṇo 'kāmayata prajāḥ sṛjeya ity upakramya: "Then the Supreme Personality Nārāyaṇa desired to create living entities." Again it is said:

nārāyaṇād brahmā jāyate, nārāyaṇād prajāpatiḥ prajāyate, nārāyaṇād indro jāyate, nārāyaṇād aṣṭau vasavo jāyante, nārāyaṇād ekādaśa rudrā jāyante, nārāyaṇād dvādaśādityāḥ.

"From Nārāyaṇa, Brahmā is born, and from Nārāyaṇa, the patriarchs are also born. From Nārāyaṇa, Indra is born, from Nārāyaṇa the eight Vasus are born, from Nārāyaṇa the eleven Rudras are born, from Nārāyaṇa the twelve Ādityas are born."

It is said in the same Vedas: brahmaṇyo devakī-putraḥ: "The son of Devakī, Kṛṣṇa, is the Supreme Personality." Then it is said:

eko vai nārāyaṇa āsīn na brahmā na īśāno nāpo nāgni samau neme
dyāv-āpṛthivī na nakṣatrāṇi na sūryaḥ sa ekākī na ramate tasya
dhyānāntaḥ sthasya yatra chāndogaiḥ kriyamāṇāṣṭakādi-saṁjñakā
stuti-stomaḥ stomam ucyate.

"In the beginning of the creation there was only the Supreme Personality Nārāyaṇa. There was no Brahmā, no Śiva, no fire, no moon, no stars in the sky, no sun. There was only Kṛṣṇa, who creates all and enjoys all."

In the many Purāṇas it is said that Lord Śiva was born from the highest, the Supreme Lord Kṛṣṇa, and the Vedas say that it is the Supreme Lord, the creator of Brahmā and Śiva, who is to be worshiped. In the Mokṣa-dharma Kṛṣṇa also says, prajāpatiṁ ca rudraṁ cāpy aham eva sṛjāmi vai tau hi māṁ na vijānīto mama māyā-vimohitau. "The patriarchs, Śiva and others are created by Me, though they do not know that they are created by Me because they are deluded by My illusory energy." In Varāha Purāṇa it is also said, nārāyaṇaḥ paro devas tasmāj jātaś caturmukhaḥ tasmād rudro 'bhavad devaḥ sa ca sarvajñatāṁ gataḥ. "Nārāyaṇa is the Supreme Personality of Godhead, and from Him Brahmā was born, from whom Śiva was born."

Thursday, March 20

Cool and breezy today; taking morning bath at dawn in the lake was definitely stimulating! But austerities aside, being here is already helping to improve my health. I feel much more alert, energetic and pure. My sense of smell especially is improving dramatically. After living in the city for over a year, it had become dull and my nasal passages were occluded. Every morning I had to clear the mucous by flushing my sinuses with warm salty water. Now, my sense of smell is very sharp and clear; I can smell flowers for a hundred meters downwind. 

Getting ready for Uddhava's visit, I see that tomorrow is Gaura-Purnima: Lord Caitanya's Appearance Day. This is a very auspicious occasion. Their Lordships Gaura-Nitai are appearing here, and it is the beginning of the Gaudiya Vaisnava year. So anything that we create or negotiate tomorrow will be very auspicious. This is all Krsna's arrangement; it's not like we sat looking at the calendar and planned it this way. So we see Krsna's influence and activities all around us. His activities and arrangements have the distinctive quality that they are all-perfect. No human intelligence could make such nice arrangements. 

Our most merciful Deities, Sri-Sri Gaura-Nitai. Click picture to download full-size.

This morning I finished transcribing the three videos of the first session of Healing the Soul: the Essence of Ayurveda. I will also make a separate post to notify everyone. All our students should review the videos and transcripts. This material is fundamental to the work we are doing now with the Ayurveda Institute. 

Uddhava Prabhu arrived early, about 1 PM. We were busy cleaning the whole house by throwing buckets of water on the ceiling, walls and floor. Then we used the mop and squeegee to push the water out the door into the yard, where it quickly disappeared into the earth. He just showed up at the house and walked in the door, and we were completely surprised. Uddhava brought a carload of stuff with him, and we spent the rest of the afternoon and evening showing him around, taking prasadam and setting up the house.

Friday, March 21

I woke up at 4 AM with lower back pain, which is unusual these days. I must have thrown out my sacroiliac joint last night and didn't notice it. I did some exercises and put it back into alignment. After a cold swim in the lake, it felt weak but no more pain. This morning was cool, about 57 degrees F, and windy. We worked on the house all day, completely overhauling the electrical system, preparing for setting up our office here. We worked hard, got it all done by 3 PM and took another swim. Then we cooked up some delicious rice, dahl and vegetable prasadam and ate it with fresh corn tortillas. We ate with relish after all that work! 

Now I am ready to just kick back in my tent by the lake, get up early tomorrow and install the Deities of Gaura-Nitai. Actually today is Gaura-Purnima, but we didn't get the house work done in time to set up the Deities. So we will celebrate Gaura-Purnima tomorrow. We will make a video of our ceremony and share it with you all. 

This rural life is so nice. It is quiet, so quiet we can hear the nuances of music much more clearly. Most people are so conditioned to the mode of passion that the deep silence here, the enforced contemplation, would drive them nuts. There are only natural sounds, like the birds, the wind and the water. Occasionally a car drives by, but we scarcely notice, because it can hardly touch the deep stillness that pervades our place. As I once wrote about New Talavan, you have to like yourself, and be very comfortable with yourself, to live happily in the countryside. Especially here, where we are on the edge of a huge wilderness area, you can feel an ancient vibe of peaceful energy. There has been a lot of contemplation here by generations of shamans. That really makes a difference in the feeling of a place. The energy here reminds me of holy places in India where I stayed. 

The soul who contemplates the nature of his own consciousness is naturally happy. It is a mystery, never understood, only experienced and explored, but ever-fresh and ever refreshing. When the consciousness is focused on a transcendental object, even its own self, it automatically becomes saturated with transcendental pleasure. What need is there for sense gratification when pleasure is intrinsic to one's own spiritual nature? So I go now to settle deep in the peaceful darkness and fold my soul into itself.

Saturday, March 22

Warmer today, with no wind. Uddhava slept in the house while Florian and I went to the lake camp. We all slept late, lazy after yesterday's work-a-thon. But it's all good. This morning Uddhava met the man who owns the cows next door and found out all about the local milk business. A lot of people here keep cows. All the milk not used locally, about 90% of production, is sold cooperatively to the cheese maker in the next village for MX$3.50 per liter. At 11 pesos to the dollar, that is an absurdly low price for fresh whole, mostly organic milk. We spent breakfast time drinking fresh milk, talking about milk, and making sweet rice that we will offer later to Gaura-Nitai. 

Milk is very precious; as Srila Prabhupada wrote:

"...as soon as Mahārāja Pariksit saw that a lower-class man in the dress of a king was hurting the legs of a cow and a bull, at once he arrested and punished him. The king cannot tolerate insults to the most important animal, the cow, nor can he tolerate disrespect for the most important man, the brāhmana. Human civilization means to advance the cause of brahminical culture, and to maintain it, cow protection is essential. There is a miracle in milk, for it contains all the necessary vitamins to sustain human physiological conditions for higher achievements. Brahminical culture can advance only when man is educated to develop the quality of goodness, and for this there is a prime necessity of food prepared with milk, fruits and grains." [Srimad-Bhagavatam 1.16.4 Purport]

As an intelligent devotee, Uddhava immediately saw the opportunity to help the village cow-protection program by creating new businesses based on the production of milk. We can combine the natural local products—healing water, local medicinal herbs and fresh milk—into thousands of healthy food products. When these are offered to the Lord and empowered with mantras, they create foods that nourish the finer spiritual intelligence of all human beings. So by Krsna's arrangement, we have found ourselves in a cowherd village with a milk-based economy. Even the old cows that can't give milk anymore are not slaughtered; they are kept in a spare piece of land in the back of the village. No wonder the people are so mellow and happy.

Tebanca Internet Cafe

Around noon we went out shooting video with the nice Sony camera. It produces much higher quality footage than the little Canon camcorder. Got some great shots of the lake and the surrounding area. Uddhava found a new Internet place nearby, much closer than in Catemaco. This will make it feasible to be online much more often than once or twice a week. We will also check the bandwidth and see if it is possible to upload video. Soon we will be getting a satellite Internet connection of our own, and will be in daily contact just like before.

I took Uddhava to the cascade, and he helped me to fill the water container from the falls. He was astonished to see the beauty of the place. We took some video and then went in the water to fill the bottles. At first he was yelling and whooping from the cold, but once he got used to it he was OK. Later today we will offer them to Sri-Sri Gaura-Nitai and chant a nice long kirtan to empower them. I am going to fill some small bottles with spring water and send them back to DF with Uddhava. Devotees who make a donation or contribution to our ashram fund can get them as a premium and a token of our appreciation. 

The more I am here and the more we discover about what the area has to offer, the more satisfied and happy I am that we chose this place. There is a lot of natural value here that we can engage in devotional service, and we can also help the community economically by teaching them new Internet-based business models. It is a kind of technology exchange: they know the earth and the values of natural living, and we can show them how to reach a better market with their produce. 

So we are very happy living a transcendental life in the deep back country of Mexico. It is much better to live simply, austerely, close to the land and nature, than to have unlimited facility for sense gratification in the sinful, polluted city. I am very grateful to all my students and disciples, especially Uddhava, Neville, Conor and Florian, for their dedicated service and kind donations for making this ashram project possible. May they continue to make great spiritual advancement in love of Godhead by their sincere service. 

Beautiful view from the hills above Lake Catemaco. Click picture to download full-size original.

Sunday, March 23

Today I got up early before sunrise to see Uddhava off on his journey back to DF (Distrito Federal, or Mexico City). But he wasn't quite ready to go because he wanted to make a deal with the cowherd man next door for regular milk. We will get 2 liters of fresh organic milk, right from the cow, daily for 10 pesos: about one US dollar. So I took bath in the lake, chanted and played with the Lion until he was ready to leave. Weather today is optimal; clear, still and warm. There was overcast at sunset last night, but no sign of the rain that is forecast for later this week. So we get a nice Easter Sunday to herald the beginning of Spring. 

bṛhat-sāma tathā sāmnāṁ
gāyatrī chandasām aham
māsānāṁ mārga-śīrṣo 'ham
ṛtūnāṁ kusumākaraḥ

"Of hymns I am the Bṛhat-sāma sung to the Lord Indra, and of poetry I am the Gāyatrī verse, sung daily by brāhmaṇas. Of months I am November and December, and of seasons I am flower-bearing spring." [Bhagavad-gita 10.35]

During Uddhava's visit we had a lot of discussion about the economic situation, and how we can establish web-based businesses to improve both the local economy and our ashram's situation. I think that among Uddhava's managerial talents, Florian's training in economics and my web-design skills, we can get something nice going here. I am also looking forward to having more of our students visit, now that we are established here. Conor is coming to DF in a week at the end of March; then once he is a little settled, Uddhava will send him in a truck with our furniture and the rest of our things. Solus is going to visit one of these days, and Neville is planning to come too, later in the year.

I moved all my stuff into the house today, and will stay here for the next couple of weeks during my Saturn opposition Sun transit. Florian and I had sweet rice cooked in fresh milk for breakfast. It was delicious, only it was a little difficult to digest. The milkman actually warned us not to take too much because it is so heavy with milk fat. It hit me so hard I found myself half-asleep, staring blankly at the computer screen. So I had a little nap, got up around noon and felt refreshed. Then we went swimming in the cascade, which was even more refreshing. There is so much energy in that water! 

Now we're making cheese from the other half of the milk we got this morning. I will cook cauliflower and potatoes with rice, plus we have a kilo of fresh tortillas from this morning. The milk is brought to a boil three times, and on the third boil, we add the juice of two very sour tangerines. Then the cheese and whey are filtered through a cloth; the cheese is pressed to remove the remaining fluid. Then you can fry it or do whatever you like, and it's just delicious. We may be living in humble circumstances, but we sure eat like kings. I think it really helps to have nice prasadam, because we are all conditioned to sense gratification; so I always try to make a nice variety of preparations. 

4 PM: Now some low clouds are moving in, and the breeze is freshening; it looks and feels like rain. If we get the heavy rain that was forecast, we will just hole up in the house. There is plenty of computer stuff to do, and still more work to finish setting up the house. I want to edit some of the video we took, and try out some musical ideas that have been bouncing around in my head. Plus I am working on the first draft of the Catemaco Ayurveda site. That and our normal devotional service is plenty to occupy us for a few rainy days. 

Monday, March 24

6 AM: I passed out early last night and got up well before dawn. No rain yet, although it's cloudy but warm; the overnight low was about 18°C. The village is waking up all around me; the atmosphere is redolent with the scents of horses and cows, and the sounds of roosters having their morning crowing contest, the cries of the lake birds in the background. One day this week I will go down to the ecotourist place near the water, and record the morning bird symphony in glorious stereo. Although there already is a pretty good recording on the video that I took the first morning we were here and Uddhava has, I hope, posted on the site by now. 

Last night in a dream I was discussing politics with an ISKCON leader. Although he was a sannyasi dressed in saffron robes, he wanted me to give up following Srila Prabhupada and follow the GBC. At that point I withdrew from the discussion, because what he was saying was absurd: the very foundation of ISKCON is following Srila Prabhupada, and the lie of ISKCON politics is that they say they are following him, while the reality is that they are doing only what is good for themselves, as they perceive it. Religious politics is an oxymoron (self-contradictory expression or statement). Real religion is based on truth, and politics is always based on a lie. The lie is that the leaders will make decisions that benefit the members; in reality, the leaders' decisions are made to benefit only themselves. Then they spin it so it sounds like it's beneficial for the members, but that lie can't change the bad result of a bad decision. 

The result is that ISKCON, which Srila Prabhupada brought to such a high place by his personal spiritual prowess, has been descending steadily since his departure from this world. Soon it will be nothing but an ordinary church, with lots of money but no real spiritual potency. All this is due to the mediocre quality of the leadership, which has consistently tried to usurp Srila Prabhupada's policies since the beginning. Srila Prabhupada wanted sastric examinations for leaders and gurus; he wanted democratic controls on the executive committee; he wanted a Society dedicated to the benefit of the congregation, therefore he wanted the leaders were to serve the members, not the other way around. It has become such a bass-ackward mess because the leadership is contaminated by the mode of passion; they want to enjoy, not to serve. They have deviated from the truth, and because of that, Srila Prabhupada has cursed them to again become very insignificant.

asataḥ śrī-madāndhasya
dāridryaṁ param añjanam
ātmaupamyena bhūtāni
daridraḥ param īkṣate

"Atheistic fools and rascals who are very much proud of wealth fail to see things as they are. Therefore, returning them to poverty is the proper ointment for their eyes so they may see things as they are. At least a poverty-stricken man can realize how painful poverty is, and therefore he will not want others to be in a painful condition like his own." [Srimad-Bhagavatam 10.10.13]

PURPORT

In this connection there is an instructive story called punar mūṣiko bhava, "Again Become a Mouse." A mouse was very much harassed by a cat, and therefore the mouse approached a saintly person to request to become a cat. When the mouse became a cat, he was harassed by a dog, and then when he became a dog, he was harassed by a tiger. But when he became a tiger, he stared at the saintly person, and when the saintly person asked him, "What do you want?" the tiger said, "I want to eat you." Then the saintly person cursed him, saying, "May you again become a mouse." 

Srila Prabhupada took insignificant hippies and ordinary rascals and elevated them to the transcendental platform of existence, making them wealthy and powerful like tigers. But then, instead of being grateful and humble, they became proud and turned on him, attempting to usurp his assets for their own enjoyment. Only a fool will be ungrateful to the kind man who attempts to save him from his own foolishness. Thus they have been cursed: "Again become mouse." 

This morning I got all inspired and created a label for our spring water. I printed up some samples and stuck them on the 250-ml. spray bottles that Uddhava brought from DF. The result looks pretty good; if it were printed in color, it would be downright perfeshinel, dontcha know. Next time we go into Catemaco, I am going to send a sample to all our current donors. 

1 PM: It did rain a bit this morning, but then cleared a little and got nice, 24°C. Just right, a little breeze and not too hot. Today after lunch we will go into Tebanca, a nearby village and visit the cyber-café. Oops, it's a rainy day and the cyber-café is closed. With satellite Internet, when it's raining you can't get a signal. So why bother to open if the customers can't surf? Oh well, maybe mañana. Plenty of other stuff to do, like transcribe the next session of the Ayurveda workshop.

Part 5

Tuesday, March 25

Woke up nice and early again to clear skies and warming temperatures. Today was a go-to-town day, and the first thing after breakfast (whole-milk sweet rice again—I could get used to this!) we checked out the new Internet café in Tebanca. It's a lot nicer, cleaner and quieter than the one in Catemaco, but a bit more expensive. As usual I had about a zillion emails. OK, 96 to be exact. When you answer them daily it's not a burden, but seeing them all stacked up like that is daunting. And I am hopelessly behind on the Forums and YouTube comments. 

I continued transcribing the Ayurveda seminar videos last night and this morning. There is a problem with the Healing the Soul web page on our site: it's missing. Something must have gone wrong with the FTP session the last time I uploaded the page, at the Internet place in Catemaco. I'll fix it the next time I go online, which will be in a couple of days. It's great to have Internet access right in the next village instead of a one-hour drive away. So now we only have to go into town once a week, if that, for necessities. And as we get more set up, even that will become more infrequent.

Today we found a store in Catemaco with local-grown produce at very reasonable prices. You really can tell the difference in quality between the local garden vegetables and the corporate-grown, genetically-modified, gas-ripened stuff you get at Wal-Mart. We feasted on yellow mung-dahl, garden-grown cilantro and chard with Basmati rice and fresh-made tortillas, with fresh whole milk and local honey for dessert. We also got some nice local-grown tomatoes, so tomorrow we will have pasta. Boy, this spiritual austerity is tough, but somebody's got to do it! 

Actually most people probably would find our lifestyle impossibly austere. Living in a tent or simple house, getting up before sunrise, taking cold bath in the lake, chanting the same Sanskrit mantras over and over, eating simple vegetarian dishes made with pure organic ingredients, studying and writing about God all the time—most people would find it intolerably austere. But because of our spiritual engagement in devotional service, Krsna consciousness, we find it quite pleasurable, a little adventurous perhaps, like a camping trip, but not really that difficult. As Srila Prabhupada often said, "Virtue is its own reward"; in other words, purity and austerity are subtle pleasures in themselves.

Wednesday, March 26

Foggy and cool this morning, only 13°C but clear and looks like it will warm up nicely later on. Already 15°C by 7 AM, just after sunrise. So today will be very nice.

I wish I could share some details about my internal realizations and intimate relationship with the Lord, but I am afraid that neophytes would misunderstand it as material. Also, well-meaning students might try to imitate my particular relationship instead of realizing their own for themselves. It's like when they show a particularly foolhardy stunt on TV and warn, "Don't try this at home, kids," knowing full well that the little rascals will imitate.

So maybe it's not a good idea to mention such confidential topics. But I can say that the love relationship between the soul and Supersoul is the most perfect, satisfying and pure experience that I have ever had. There is simply no comparison between ordinary human love and God's unlimited, unconditional love. Lord Krsna Himself in His form of Lord Caitanya is teaching us how to love Him, and if we follow Mahaprabhu's example, He reciprocates in great abundance. Prabhupada said,

[There are] ten directions. Eight direction, corner, and northeast, east-west, and up and down. So everywhere He is present. So Kṛṣṇa has got ten hands. So my father used to say, "When Kṛṣṇa takes your money or possession in ten hands, how you can protect it with two hands? And when He gives you in ten hands, how much you can take in two hands?" (laughs) So in my case it has become practical. Everything He has taken in ten hands, and now He is giving in ten hands. (laughter) I am practically experiencing. My Guru Mahārāja ordered me, "You do this." I was trying to save my business, my family, with two hands, and Kṛṣṇa took it in ten hands. And now, after making me beggar, He is giving me, ten hands: "You take as much as you like." [Morning Walk, 2/10/76, Mayapur]

There is a well-known saying in India that "When Krsna likes you, He gives you everything; but when He loves you, He takes everything away." So in my life I have experienced everything, but when my devotional service became mature, for many years I had nothing but my service to His lotus feet and the lotus feet of my guru. Thus I became a wandering beggar. But now He is giving everything, as Prabhupada says, with ten hands. So I would add to this saying that when you love Krsna and He is truly pleased, He gives so much you cannot take it all. 

Generally the devotees of Krsna attain liberation from material existence. So it is understood that in the process, one will lose everything material. The materialistic people in India are very much afraid of this, so they worship devatas like Indra, Siva, Durga and Ganesh who give material blessings, instead of Krsna. But when one is bereft of material possessions one is forced to develop spiritually, because there is nothing else one can do. So if a person is intelligent, understanding the value of spiritual life, then when Krsna takes everything away, rather than struggle to regain his material position, he takes advantage of the situation to concentrate on spiritual progress. 

atha ca tasmād ubhayathāpi hi karmāsminn ātmanaḥ saṁsārāvapanam udāharanti

"Learned scholars and transcendentalists therefore condemn the materialistic path of fruitive activity because it is the original source and breeding ground of material miseries, both in this life and in the next." [Srimad-Bhagavatam 5.14.23]

PURPORT

Not knowing the value of life, karmīs create situations whereby they suffer in this life and the next. Unfortunately, karmīs are very attached to material sense gratification, and they cannot appreciate the miserable condition of material life, neither in this life nor in the next. Therefore the Vedas enjoin that one should awaken to spiritual consciousness and utilize all his activities to attain the favor of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. The Lord Himself says in Bhagavad-gītā 9.27:

yat karoṣi yad aśnāsi
yaj juhoṣi dadāsi yat
yat tapasyasi kaunteya
tat kuruṣva mad-arpaṇam

"O son of Kuntī, all that you do, all that you eat, all that you offer and give away, as well as all austerities that you may perform, should be done as an offering unto Me."

It is possible to perform so many sinful deeds in one human lifetime that due to karmic reaction, one will be trapped in a hellish condition of life for many, many births. Therefore the Lord protects His beloved devotee by restricting him from performing sinful activities that will entangle him in material existence. As soon as all our activities without exception are done as an offering to the Lord in devotional service, material nature cannot affect us, and then the Lord gives all facility to His devotee for use in His devotional service.

But this transcendental facility or abundance is not a cheap thing; it must be earned by a lifetime of dedication in devotional service. The Lord wants to make sure that we are sincere; therefore He will test us with His external potency, Maya, again and again until we finally give up drinking the poison of material life. Once we reach the level of realization where it is impossible to fall down, then Krsna gives His trusted devotee full freedom and abundant facility to expand his devotional service activities. 

I spent most of the day transcribing the Ayurveda videos and made quite a bit of progress, but around 4 PM I went to the waterfall and bathed. I'm always amazed at the amount and quality of energy there. Even though the water is quite cool, when under the waterfall I never feel cold at all. And afterward, I feel like a million bucks. Actually the whole adventure of coming here is worthwhile just for that feeling. What a powerful healing influence!

Thursday, March 27

Well, a very interesting day. First of all the weather was perfect: warm (28°C) and clear, with a nice gentle breeze out of the north. The air was fragrant with spring blossoms. 

We looked at a piece of land for sale near Las Margaritas. It was steep and north-sloping, good for trees but not for herbs. The owner was asking about US$5,000 for one hectare, already planted in coffee, oranges and other fruits. Not really what we're looking for, but after seeing the land the owner took us to his home in the next village, overlooking the lake, with some spectacular views of the countryside. This village is more developed and more cultured than Las Margaritas; the houses there are stuccoed and some, actually painted. Their landscaping is also very nice, with lots of little home gardens.

This family is very much into agriculture and has been practicing organic farming for generations. They showed us their garden, which to the unpracticed city dweller's eye might look like an ordinary forest, but is actually highly cultivated, with a huge compost pile, natural groundwater irrigation and a wide variety of fruits and other trees. We had a long conversation in our halting Spanish about organic farming and the value of organic produce, both for health and economics. Some of the families use chemicals but these men don't believe in it. "Natural is best," they say. They offered us some cilantro out of their kitchen garden, and it was beautiful. They also invited us back to buy vegetables anytime, which we will certainly do next time we need them.

We proposed that the local organic farmers form an organic growers' co-op and get certification, then they can sell their produce for better prices. They know they are getting cheated but don't have the knowledge to correct the situation. I think we can really help them, and the best way is to show the example ourselves. We can plant herbs in the yard behind our house, get organic certification, sell the herbs and show them the prices. That will certainly motivate them to do something similar, especially if we can provide the information on how to do it. So that will be a project for us over the longer term.

Later in the day we decided to explore, and took a little road out the back of the village and up the valley behind it. We had seen from satellite pictures that there were many fields under cultivation back there, and wanted to inquire about renting a field for herbs. Instead, we discovered paradise. God, it was so incredibly beautiful. We drove back in as far as we could, parked El Burro and walked around. We met a man working on his plot of land who told us a little about the area. We walked back up into the hills and found an incredible landscape of volcanic rocks, verdant meadows with peaceful grazing cows, and pure fresh springs welling up out of the ground. It was like a heavenly planet. I've seen similar landscapes on Kauai, but this was even more beautiful. We were just in ecstasy, but of course forgot to bring the camera. I think we will have to go back in a day or two just to take pictures. 

I finished transcribing the Ayurveda videos, and will post the transcriptions and repair the video page next time we get online, tomorrow with any luck. There is a lot of good material on those tapes!

Part 6

Saturday, March 29

Yesterday was another beautiful day. I spent a lot of time transcribing the first San Diego Seminar video, and neglected to write my journal entry until it was too late—so I'm writing about yesterday today. Since transcribing the Ayurveda series, I have seen that there is a lot of value in posting the talks on the site in text format. It can help students who are watching and listening to the video get clarity on exactly what is being said, and it can also stand on its own, especially after editing, and serve as a basis for online courses. 

The funny thing about all the live courses is that, especially in retrospect, it is clear that I am speaking to a very unqualified audience; despite our best efforts, they just weren't getting it. Of all the courses we gave, not one person who attended became a good devotee; this is one of the main factors that moved us to focus on Internet preaching. The main value we got from doing those courses was the videos, which we could then post on the site and on YouTube. I get inspired speaking to a live audience, even if they're not getting it, and so those presentations are really good. On the other hand, it is much more satisfying to do the Sunday Satsangs, where the audience is qualified and really interested. Once we get Internet here, I will be doing a lot more of those live Satsang programs.

Speaking of which, last night we went into Tebanca (which is quite a scene, with a cantina and various stores, including the area tortillería) and got online, and I was able to chat with Uddhava. Conor arrives today. Uddhava will send him out in a hired truck with all our furniture and computer gear next weekend. So finally we will be completely equipped and set up out here, and especially I will have a dedicated PC musical composition system with all my favorite programs. There is also a possibility that we will be able to buy a used HughesNet satellite Internet system from the Tebanca cyber-café. Uddhava is negotiating the deal, and we should know soon whether it will work out.

There is a possibility that my long-lost son Brion will join us. He emailed me saying that he lost his job and is getting kicked out of his place. Again. Maya has been kicking him really hard. The last time I saw him was when I retired in 2001; I visited him on my way out the the West Coast and Hawaii. I spent a week at his place in Waco, and we got along great. But he has had problems with women, drugs and rock'n'roll—literally—he was the lead singer in a metal band for awhile, so you can imagine what his lifestyle was like. More recently he has been doing Christian music, so that's quite an improvement. He does have some taste for spiritual life, but I have reservations about having him here because of his past. Nevertheless, he seems to be sincere—or maybe just desperate enough to take shelter of his mad monk dad. So I told him about all the rules we follow, and if he agrees then I'm willing to give him a chance. 

Today is another perfect day; it looks like Spring is here to stay. At 8:30 AM it is already 25°C outside. Yesterday it got nice and hot, and by 3 PM I was ready for the cascade. So we took the water bottles and hiked up to the falls. No sooner did I get them filled, standing under the raging torrent, when a Mexican couple arrived, obviously tourists from the city, with their guide. You can always tell by their silly straw hats, which are supposed to be rural, but nobody actually from here would be caught dead wearing them. They were, like, completely shocked that I was in the waterfall. Their mentality is "Look but don't touch." Later we saw them sitting on the beach by the lake; they didn't go in the water there, either. I mean, as soon as we got here, even though it was cold and stormy, the first thing we did was go into the beautiful, yummy high-energy water. Go figure.

I am a madman, intoxicated by God. When I sit, surrounded by God's beauty, I cannot even think. I am just overwhelmed by His sweetness and intoxicated by His love. First thing in the morning, before sunrise, He bathes me in His transcendental affection, and my mind is stunned; I cannot move or speak. Time flows slowly and gracefully by, and I know there are so many things I should be doing; but He has made me a fool, dumb and incompetent. All I can do is sit in amazement and contemplate His wonderful qualities, exalted activities and excellent character. 

Why would anyone sane take shelter of such a madman? How then can I do my duty of preaching and saving people from the slaughterhouse of the material world? Yet somehow the work goes on by the mercy of my students and disciples. I am just a crazy, useless old man, but somehow they love me and keep me far from all anxiety. Therefore I am very much obliged to them, and I simply wish that the highest grace of God may manifest in their hearts, as it has in mine.

Sunday, March 30

Another beautiful day in paradise: we had to take out mud-wasps' nests in the house and outhouse; an old wooden chest that came with the house turned out to be infested with roaches, so we had to take it out and burn it; the water system is a total hack and needs an overhaul similar to the one we gave the electrical system last week; and worst of all, it's getting so hot that we need to buy a refrigerator so our vegetables won't spoil. Next week Uddhava is sending down all our furniture and studio equipment, and I will have to pay the movers a big slice of our remaining cash. So much for living the simple life in Eden...

It reminds me of the story about the sadhu who learned Bhagavad-gita from his guru. The guru sent him to a small village to preach, and his only possession was his copy of Bhagavad-gita. He kept his Gita in a tree next to the river where he stayed. Soon, however, he noticed that a mouse was eating his Gita. So on the advice of a neighbor, he got a cat. Next thing, he needed milk to feed the cat, so he got a cow, Then he needed help to take care of the cow, so he got married... A few years later his guru came to see how his disciple was doing. He found a big farm with a huge house, many women, children and animals. The guru asked him, "So how are you preaching Bhagavad-gita?" His disciple answered, "Who has time to read Bhagavad-gita?" 

Well it's not that bad—actually we still have lots of time for chanting, study and preaching—but we sure are looking forward to having Conor here to help out with various projects and chores. Florian has been very helpful, even more than I could have imagined, but it's time for him to engage more in spiritual work and preaching. He has an idea to translate some of our material into German and start a European branch of the Esoteric Teaching school. I am encouraging him, because this is something I desire very much. The German-speaking population in Europe is numerous, well-educated and affluent. They have the intelligence and background to engage in philosophical research into the Absolute Truth. So we are planning to establish a German-language site with a European URL designation, specifically for that public. We also plan to overdub the 2012: Matrix Singularity video with a German narration. Fortunately I still have all the production files, so all we have to do is transcribe the narration, translate it into German and record it. Once we post it on the German YouTube, the site will promote itself will very little effort. Eventually we want to establish preaching centers and an eco-community in Europe. 

I finally finished transcribing Part 1 of the San Diego Seminar. This material will be very valuable, especially when it's edited and polished up with illustrations, etc. and made into a course. Now only 5 parts to go! There is so much transcription work to do; actually all the video courses should be transcribed. I don't think I'll ever catch up. Would anyone like to volunteer to transcribe some of their favorite videos? You can email your transcriptions to me for review, editing and posting. 

Monday, March 31

Today was a major "go to town and take care of stuff" day. We left early and went into San Andres Tuxtla, bought a refrigerator at Wal-Mart, picked up plumbing parts and other supplies, drove home, unloaded everything, finally fixed the water leaks, and found the kitchen infested with ants. Which is very strange, because at the camp we never had any problems with ants going after our food. There, they just seem to prefer the leaves of certain trees, which they attack in huge columns at night with thousands of worker ants. You have to be a bit careful when walking around at night, not to step too near the column, which is like an ant freeway cut through the underbrush, or the soldier ants will attack you. Otherwise they left us alone. Florian took some amazing video of these ants that we may post later on. 

Anyway, then we went to see the father of the man who offered to sell us land, and also to buy vegetables from their well-maintained organic garden. We had promised him some information about how to apply for organic certification. They want to improve their village church, and we gave them the idea that they could sell their milk, fruit and vegetables for a better price by certifying their fields for organic produce. But the Internet place in the next village was closed today, so we were unable to get the information. Nevertheless we thought that we should visit him anyway, just because we said that we would.

The good news in all this activity is that except for the stuff arriving from DF along with Conor on Saturday, we are finally all set up, both at the camp and the house. Maybe now we can settle down to sadhana and preaching. Uddhava is working on getting the satellite Internet system, and we should be back online every day soon. From what we hear, the rest of the world is still out there, though you would never know it sitting here! I am looking forward to being in better communication with my students, and as always, we have lots of new ideas for preaching. Actually as I was telling Florian the other evening, I have so much inspiration from Krsna that I could easily keep a staff of 10-12 administrators, writers, translators, editors, programmers, artists, animators, video editors and web designers busy full time. 

Well, spring weather has settled in, and every day is gorgeous, clear and hot. But the breeze at our campsite down near the lake is very pleasant, and we enjoy swimming whenever it gets too hot. The only question is whether to go in the lake or the waterfall... decisions, decisions. 

Tuesday, April 1

Today is a nice and quiet, contemplative day, warm (31°C) and a bit breezy. I can hear the lake roaring in the background as I write this, whipped into whitecaps by the wind. The laziness I have felt the past few days was actually a mood of profound introspection; coming out of it now, I can feel our direction shifting, a subtle change of mood and energy that will actually transform our whole mission. 

We have a center now, a place from which we can address the whole world with our message, and a destination that serious students can travel to for practical training. Florian's inspiration to translate some of our work into German is actually very significant. I think that we will have much more success presenting the Esoteric Teaching of the Vedas to the educated Europeans than we ever had in America or Mexico. The anti-intelliectual trend that has crippled Americans' thinking has not been such a factor in Europe; thus Florian's emphasis will be on philosophy and an appeal to reason and intelligence, which has always actually been my mood. So Florian is translating articles, and I am developing a design template for the site. 

Part 7

Wednesday, April 2

Last night we decided to go into Tebanca and check our email, and I got a message from Uddhava that Conor is coming today! That was certainly a surprise, since we had thought he was not coming until Saturday. He must be fired up to get it together to leave so quickly. Anyway, that was a nice surprise. It will be interesting to see what time he arrives, since the drive from DF is generally at least 8 hours. It took us 10 hours, but we deliberately went slow to conserve fuel. And besides, we were exploring; they will know exactly where to go. So we expect to see him in the afternoon sometime. 

Today being Papamocani Ekadasi, we are fasting from grains and beans. We had a big serving of sweet rice last night, and afterwards I couldn't get to sleep. So I got up kind of late today, but am pushing ahead with transcribing the San Diego Seminar videos. This material is important because it summarizes the whole Vedic Esoteric Teaching system of philosophy very nicely. I was presenting to people who had no idea of the Vedic conception, so I had to give the whole background very concisely in order to explain our ideas. 

Well I finished transcribing Part 2 of the San Diego seminars. It went a lot quicker than Part 1, but Part 3 is really long, over two hours. I also made a great deal of progress on the German website. The design and the basic structure are done, and Florian is translating the articles. We decided to have the material in both German and English. My concentration is really good, and I was able to write for several hours without interruption. I can tell that Krsna really wants this service, because He is giving good inspiration and facility for it. A devotee can accomplish so much more work, and much more efficiently because he is not working for sense gratification. No coffee breaks, for example. 

In the evening we cooked up some delicious Ekadasi prasadam and made extra for Conor, but he never showed up! I guess we'll find out the story tomorrow, or whenever he arrives. After all it's Mexico, so we have to deal with the Mañana-vadis. Their mantra is "No today; maybe mañana." This mantra is pronounced with a fatalistic shrug, indicating that in the face of the impenetrable uncertainty of the universe in general and Mexico in particular, further philosophical inquiry is useless. 

Thursday, April 3

I woke up before dawn as usual, had a nice little talk with my Lion, and then got up to get milk from the cowherd man next door. I found Florian asleep in the other room; he must have stayed up late waiting for Conor and crashed out there. I watered and sprayed our Tulasi plants, who are doing great since I moved them up off the ground. They were being chewed up by some little bugs, but the bugs don't seem to find them when they are up off the ground on our water tank. Anyway I planted a bunch more, and they have sprouted already. They seem to love the soil from the big anthill at our camp. So soon we will have dozens of nice Tulasi plants. 

I got a couple of nice realizations while transcribing the San Diego Seminar vid